Preschoolers 101: After the Trying Times.

So sorry that this post is late today!  Heather and I have both had busy weekends and sometimes the blogging just has to wait!  Enjoy today's "lesson"...

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!  We had a great time camping among the sequoias...it was our first time camping ever!  Wander on over to see some pictures here :)

Well, we've really gotten through a lot of information in the past few weeks!    I'm really hoping that the strategies we've covered have helped...or at least have given you all something to put in your back pocket for when you need some new tricks!  Now that we've talked about what to do before and during those trying times, let's talk a little about what to do afterwards.  

Last week, we talked a little about following through with your expectations.  Even though that falls a little within what to do during, I think it's important to bring that up again.  Whatever you and your child discussed would happen, be sure to follow through with that.  This gives both you and your child a confidence in both of your actions...and it gives worth to your words.  So if you established that “If you yell in the library again, we'll have to go home,” then be sure to go home if it happens.  This, of course, is just as important for the positive discussions as well...so, if you promised an ice cream cone after a nice day at the library, then by all means, get that kiddo some delicious ice cream!

Once a child calms down, or is in an emotional place where you know effective communication can happen, let it happen.  Don't miss this opporunity to turn that trying time into a teaching moment, even though you both might want to run away from each other at that point!  Start by going over what happened, recognizing how your child felt (“I know you had a lot of energy...”), what he did (“...and you threw a block at the window...”), why it was not okay to do (“...but blocks can break the windows...”), and then, most importantly, what he can do next time instead (“...so maybe next time you can go in the backyard to throw things.”)  This can be a great opporunity for your child to give his input as well, which can later be brought up if the behavior happens again (“Remember when we talked about where we can throw things?  What did we say?”)

Now, this part is what I find to be the most important thing of all.  Give some love!  Obviously, you still love your child, regardless of how many times he does something you told him not to do, or grabs the cat's tail, or refuses to clean up.  So let him know.  You're both probably frustrated at this point, so try to get past that and give a hug, a kiss, or some kind words to let your child know, that even though what he did was not okay, you love him no matter what.

Put on your rose colored glasses :) One strategy that I like to use is, when I'm feeling at wits end, I stop, look at Leo...really look at him...and see the positive in what he has done.  Or even look at it from his point of view.  If he has just taken out every single book off the shelf and spread them across the floor (even after I told him to clean them up), maybe it's because he's so interested in reading he just wants to find the perfect book to read.  If he runs in the opposite direction when I call his name, maybe he wants to see how fast and strong his new little legs are.  I know, I know, this may sound like I'm wearing rose colored glasses, but in the big picture, what's more important, getting frustrated, or seeing the good in things?  This makes the follow up much easier to deal with... I'm coming from a much more positive place than if I'm just seeing the negative in a behavior.

Next week, we'll wrap things up!  

I'm a bit sorry to see this series end next week (and not just because it saved me having to write a post on Mondays!).  I'm working on figuring out how to get all of these posts together on one page to make it easier to reference.  I for one will be reading these over... probably again and again!  

Have a wonderful evening!