Preschoolers 101: The Final Post (Boo Hoo)

Good morning members of the Southern Institute!  I can hardly believe that this day has come... the last Preschoolers 101 post.  Can I confess that I am very sad about this?  Heather has done such an amazing job helping us to navigate the ups and downs of  preschool behaviors.  This last post does not disappoint... there's plenty to take away today.  I hope you enjoy it!

Well, here we are at the end of the series!  Thank you so much, Jenny, for having me as a guest these past few weeks.  It has been such a pleasure sharing some ideas with you and your readers.  

We've gone over a bunch of strategies that you can use to help you and your child get through those trying times.  We also touched on the importance of understanding emotions, and how to help your child.  Let's step back a minute as we wrap up, and just talk a little about the importance of all the moments other than the trying times...because these are actually the most important!

This is less about strategies, and more about the everyday.  The everyday is when you can make the real magic happen.  By establishing a trust between you and your child and establishing a connection, neither of you are thrown too much off guard when those trying times do happen.  

So what does that mean?  It just means to create routines, establish rules, communicate openly....do what you need to do so that when the trying times arise, they can be handled not only with the strategies that we've talked about, but with what you do everyday.  My husband made a great analogy... it's not about dealing with a leak in the roof by rushing to get a bucket when it's happening, but instead making sure that the roof is sturdy and in good condition so that leaks don't happen...but if they do, there's no need to panic.  

Some last few things that can help in the everyday...

Use visuals.

• Set timers: By setting a timer for activities, this provides both you and your child with a visual and aural indicator that an activity is coming to an end. 
• Post your rules... in pictures!  Draw a picture of hands for “nice hands”, a heart for “being kind”, a mouth for “nice words”, etc.  This can provide both you and your child with reminders.
• Create a visual schedule: Post pictures of what is happening for the day so there are no surprises when activities start or finish, and refer to it often!
• Give your child a visual reminder: A sticker, a bracelet... something  to remind him to share, or have nice hands, or whatever it might be.  Tell him what it's for, and make it special.  Make a bracelet together and explain, “This is a special bracelet that you can wear to help remind you to share with your sister.  Whenever you look at it, you can be reminded of how nice it is to share!”
• Create a visual indicator of how your child's behavior is going throughout the day... a star chart, stickers, add pom poms to jar as you see positive behaviors.  When you reach a predetermined amount, reward your child for doing such a great job!  Go out for ice cream, get a new book... do something fun!

Focus on the positive.

• Be sure to notice when your child does the things you are looking for.  It's so easy to only notice when your child doesn't do what you ask that when he does it just goes by without notice.  But just a little recognition... “That was really great how you cleaned up when the timer went off”... goes a long way.

Be realistic...and present.

• Think about the situations, even as they're happening.  If your child asks to read one more book before bed, what's the harm?  If he wants to splash in the puddles, why not?  
• Try to remember to just “be”.  This one is really hard for me but it is so important.  Don't always think about the laundry that needs to be done, or that dinner needs to be started soon.  Our children can often feel when we are disconnected.  

Hopefully by putting many of these things in place, not only will the mishaps occur less often, but when the when they do, they are just one small learning moment for everyone.  

Thank you for reading...and thank you, again, Jenny, for having me.  Please stop by to visit me over at my blog, a happy wanderer!  Hope to see you there :)

Oh Heather, must this really end?  Thank you so much for your time and dedication to this subject.  I am a better parent for it and I'm so appreciative.  Sure, I have a lot of work to do, and I still lose my patience from time to time, but I am learning to take your advice and put it into practice.  When I do, I see results and Luke is a happier boy.  I think that the thing that stuck out to me most today is your advice to "just be".  This can be the hardest thing for me, especially with two other children and all of the everyday household work that needs to happen (not to mention this blog).  If I could just get better at "being" with Luke and really listening and watching when he needs me to, I think it would make even more of a difference.  

I think Heather should write a book, don't you?  

So, I am going to attempt to consolidate all of the Preschooler 101 posts on one page so that you can refer back to them whenever you need them.  I'm not very good at the technical aspects of blogging, but I'm going to try to figure it out.  Thanks again to Heather!  If you haven't visited her blog already, make sure to stop by and say hello!