Life Right Now (July 15th, 2011)

I miss this little girl.  I miss her terribly!  On July fourth she left our home with her grandparents.  They piled into the pick up truck and drove hundreds of miles away, on a summer adventure.  Camp grandma and grandpa.  I kept it together until they were out of sight because I didn't want her to feel bad as she drove away, that's the kind of daughter she is.  If she had seen tears in my eyes her heart would have been squished to leave me, she's such a sweetie.  Instead I waited until she was gone, then I let the tears come.

It has been a strange eleven days without her, she who is always ready with hugs and kisses and kind words of encouragement in every situation.  It's hard to watch your children leave you, even when they are in the more than capable hands of loving grandparents.  It's hard to trust, even though I know that I am just charged with her care right now.  He holds her in his hands, and He loves her more than I could imagine.  That is comforting to me, but still it's hard.

She has called me every evening, sometimes with a smile in her voice, once with tears that broke my heart.  I have been cheery and bright over the phone, asking how her day went and what she did.  "Did you play with your cousin?"  "How is your needlepoint coming along?" "You're at the amusement park?  Right now?!? Awesome!!"  But inside, there's a part of me missing, and I ache to see her smile again.

Tomorrow is the day!  This day can't go quickly enough!  I have stored up a week's worth of hugs and kisses and smiles and I can't wait to give them to her!  She needed that time away from us, it's part of growing up.  But I need her with me... it's part of being a mother.